Scott A. Wilburn » gay

Finding the “Healthy” Gay Community

scott — Fri, 15 May 2009 05:40:10 +0000

It has been almost ten years since I came out as a gay man. Since then I have had a small handful of relationships with the longest lasting just nine months. As I continue my quest for comanionship and the possibility of being in a committed relationship, I ask the same question: Where can I meet guys who are healthy members of the gay community? I should clarify what I mean by “healthy”. This is not just simply people who are physically healthy, but emotionally healthy as well.

Unfortunately, there continues to be a lot of unhealthy and self-destructive behavior in the gay community, even in a gay-friendly city like Seattle. Substance abuse, risky sexual activity and unresolved emotional issues are all too commonplace. Gay bars and the online community (such as gay.com and Manhunt) have not proven to be very good sources for making promising connections for friendship or romance. Social and activity groups do exist in the Seattle area and I have met some friendly people… but even in those circles there is unhealthy behavior which goes on.

So where do I go to seek out connections which could increase the possibility of finding a life partner who is emotionally healthy? That’s a good question.

Business who support Marriage Equality in California

scott — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:03:35 +0000

With the defeat of Proposition 8, homophobia trumps marriage equality in California. It’s a big defeat those of us in the LGBT community, but we must move forward and acknowledge the supporters of marriage equality. I think it’s also important to share some of the big company names who contributed to the No on Prop 8 campaign and send our business their way:

I know there are other businesses and individuals who contributed to the No on Prop 8 campaign and they deserve to be acknowledged for their efforts as well.

Obama Wins, Marriage Equality Loses

scott — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:31:51 +0000

The end of an era has finally arrived after eight years of failed Bush policies. In just a couple short months, we will soon be free of dealing with W and welcome a Democratically controlled congress and white house… and it’s about time.

I say, “Welcome to the White House, President Obama”.

In California, the gay community has been dealt a hard blow with no thanks to the Mormon Church. Proposition 8 has passed and gay and lesbian couples will no longer be able to marry. The largest contributor to the Yes on Prop. 8 campaign, if you follow the trail of dirty money, is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Salt Lake City, Utah. (Yes, that would be the same city I visited in June, 2007, where I walked around Temple Square with a big cup of Starbucks Coffee). Dan Savage at The Stranger posted a very interesting letter with a suggested response to the California vote.

Read it here

Pacific Northwest Gay Pride 2008 Roundup

scott — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:55:01 +0000

Last year, I published a list of all the Gay Pride events in the Pacific Northwest and I decided to make it a tradition for 2008. So here’s the list of this year’s celebrations around the Northwest:

Idaho

Boise: Boise Pride (June 14)
Moscow: Palouse Pride (August 2)
Pocatello: Pridaho (August)

Montana

Billings: Montana Pride Celebration (June 20-22)

Oregon

Bend: Bend Pride (June 21)
Eugene: Eugene/Springfield Pride Festival (August 9)
Medford: Southern Oregon Pride (July 26)
Portland: Pride Northwest (June 14-15)
Salem: Capitol Pride (August 2)

Washington

Bellingham: Bellingham Pride (July 13)
Bremerton: Kitsap Pride (July 19)
Olympia: Capital City Pride (June 21-22)
Seattle: Seattle Out and Proud (June 29) Seattle Black Pride (July 18-20)
Spokane: OutSpokane Pride Parade & Rainbow Festival (June 14) – Visit the WilburnWeb booth at Pride!
Tacoma: Out in Tacoma (July 12)
Vancouver: Saturday in the Park (July)
Yakima: Yakima Pride Festival (June 14?)

British Columbia, Canada

Kelowna: Okanagan Pride (June 22 – July 1)
Vancouver: Vancouver Pride (August 3)
Victoria: Victoria Pride (July 6)

Spending Christmas in the “Red Zone”

scott — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 09:49:18 +0000

Red. It’s one of the colors you think of during the holiday season… red ribbons, red lights, bank account in the red. But why Christmas in the Red Zone… and what is the “Red Zone” anyway?

I often refer to the rural part of Washington state between Seattle and Spokane (or between Olympia and Portland, OR) as the Red Zone because during the last two presidential elections, the rural areas voted Republican and are also areas not known to be gay-friendly. Well, my parents live in the Red Zone… 70 miles north of Spokane and that’s where I’m spending Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Christmas with my family. But with the upcoming election in 2008, I can’t help but have on my mind that I will be in a county where 63% of the people voted for George W. Bush and nearly 70% of the people voted for anti-gay Republican Cathy McMorris. Not all of those 63-70% of voters in 2004 made their choices based on anti-gay bias, but unfortunately anti-gay bias does still exist in Northeast Washington.

Despite all this, I will still enjoy myself and consume my share of eggnog and cookies with my loving and accepting family.

Jerry Falwell Bites the Dust

scott — Wed, 16 May 2007 01:37:52 +0000

The right-wing evangelical religious founder of the Moral Majority has kicked the bucket, bought the farm, cashed in his winnings, went belly up, bit the big one… yes, Jerry Falwell has croaked. They say he died from heart trouble; more than likely due to lack of a heart. His hatred toward the gay and lesbian community is legendary. I wonder what he was thinking this morning when he got to heaven and discovered that God is a big black lesbian…

Pacific Northwest Gay Pride 2007 Roundup

scott — Sun, 13 May 2007 09:08:06 +0000

It’s like Christmas for gay people: Gay Pride. At any rate, pride season is here, starting the second weekend in June and ending the second weekend in August. Here’s a roundup of all gay pride events in the Pacific Northwest:

Idaho

Boise: Boise Pride (June 9)

Montana

Billings: Montana Pride Celebration (June 15-17)

Oregon

Bend: Bend Pride (June 23)
Eugene: Eugene/Springfield Pride Festival (August 11)
Medford: Southern Oregon Pride (June 9)
Portland: Pride Northwest (June 16-17)
Salem: Capitol Pride (August 4)

Washington

Bellingham: Bellingham Pride (July 15)
Bremerton: OutKitsap (TBA)
Olympia: Capital City Pride (June 16-17)
Port Townsend: Peninsula Pride (June 29-30)
Seattle: Queerfest (June 23) Seattle Pride Parade (June 24)
Spokane: OutSpokane Pride Parade & Rainbow Festival (June 9) – Visit the WilburnWeb booth at Pride!
Tacoma: Out in the Park (July 14)
Yakima: Yakima Pride Festival (June 9)

British Columbia, Canada

Kelowna: Okanagan Pride (July 1)
Vancouver: Vancouver Pride (August 5)
Victoria: Victoria Pride (July 7-8)

Building Community: New Seattle GLBT Sea Kayaking Meetup

scott — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 05:24:40 +0000

In my commitment to community building in Seattle, I have been organizing a meetup group for sea kayakers in Seattle… now I have started a meetup group for sea kayakers in the gay community. I have not been able to locate a GLBT kayaking club anywhere in the Seattle area, so through starting the meetup I hope to see if there’s interest in the community to forming a GLBT kayaking club here. Portland has it’s own successful sea kayaking club, OutKayaking, so it’s possible that such a club could be successful in Seattle. Anyone interested in joining the Seattle GLBT Sea Kayaking Meetup can sign up for free. I will continue to organize the Seattle Area Sea Kayaking Meetup as well as lead a kayak trip or two through OutVentures.

Seattle Sonics owners support anti-gay marriage group

scott — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 07:50:26 +0000

Homophobia in the NBA has hit home in Seattle.

According to this article written by Seattle Times columnist David Postman, two principal owners of the NBA Sonics and the WNBA Storm were the top contributors to the conservative organization Americans United to Preserve Marriage. Because of the homophobic bigoted views of the owners, the Seattle Sonics have just lost me as a fan… so I shall look to my past in Portland and once again become a fan of the Portland Trail Blazers.

This story is bad news for the Sonics, especially at a time when they are looking to the Washington State Legislature to help them build a new arena. I doubt that most conservative legislators would support tax increases for this new arena, and with this added news, I think the Sonics would lose support from liberal legislators. On top of that, I would imagine that the Storm organization will also lose longtime support from the GLBT community.

Idaho business owner posts anti-gay message

scott — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 05:01:44 +0000

Just when I thought all the hate-mongers had left North Idaho, Post Falls business owner Jim Valentine puts up an anti-gay message on his reader board.

This story appeared in the Spokesman-Review newspaper on Saturday (site requires subscription):

Post Falls man advertises his bias
Thousands see sign grouping pedophiles, gays

Jim Valentine lumps gay people and pedophiles together. And he doesn’t want any of them living in Idaho.

The 55-year-old Post Falls business owner posted a message in bold letters on his reader board Friday morning: “Peds queers fags your in Idaho now …”

That’s what northbound drivers on Pleasantview Road see when they drive past the sign for his landscape supply and horse-boarding business, Dixie Services.

“Don’t fruit with Idaho kill yo-yo boy” is the message greeting southbound drivers.

According to Valentine, “yo-yo boy” is his nickname for convicted killer and child molester Joseph Duncan, who killed three members of a Coeur d’Alene family and allegedly abducted two children from the family home so he could molest them.

Valentine said he came up with “yo-yo” because he played with Duncan-brand yo-yos when he was a kid.

“People are kind of numb. I think they need to wake up a little bit,” said Valentine, who drives classic cars emblazoned with the Confederate flag. One has a horn that plays “Dixie.”

The father of eight said he was inspired by the “Kill Duncan” bumper stickers he has seen around town. Valentine said he believes he’s speaking on behalf of others in the community who are “afraid” to speak up.

Valentine said drivers who saw the signs have been honking their horns in support of his message. Another sign advertising his business has a picture of the Confederate flag and reads “Welcome to Idaho.”

For those who have worked diligently to promote human rights in North Idaho, Valentine’s message is shocking and sad, said Tony Stewart, board member of the Kootenai County Task Force on Human Relations.

“It sends a message of hate directed at an entire group of people,” Stewart said. “It’s stereotyping an entire population. It’s so unfortunate when that happens.”

Stewart said the crimes Duncan committed have affected the entire community.

“We all condemn completely the atrocious crimes of Duncan,” Stewart said. “We wanted swift justice and harsh punishment.”

“One can’t use a certain crime to preach hatred against a whole community of people,” Stewart said.

About 3,500 cars pass Valentine’s property on Pleasantview Road each day, according to the city of Post Falls.

Post Falls police and the Kootenai County Sheriff’s Department had not received any complaints about the signs as of Friday afternoon.

Kootenai County Prosecutor Bill Douglas said there’s no statute under which Valentine could be prosecuted for displaying the messages.

“That type of distasteful speech is not covered by the malicious harassment law unless it’s accompanied by some threat of imminent injury,” Douglas said.

Well, there may be no legal statute to procecute Mr. Valentine, but there are two things that Idaho residents and tourist can do:

Do NOT do business with Dixie Services in Post Falls, Idaho
Patronize North Idaho businesses which are progressive and gay-friendly