It has been almost ten years since I came out as a gay man.  Since then I have had a small handful of relationships with the longest lasting just nine months.  As I continue my quest for comanionship and the possibility of being in a committed relationship, I ask the same question: Where can I meet guys who are healthy members of the gay community?  I should clarify what I mean by “healthy”.  This is not just simply people who are physically healthy, but emotionally healthy as well.

Unfortunately, there continues to be a lot of unhealthy and self-destructive behavior in the gay community, even in a gay-friendly city like Seattle.  Substance abuse, risky sexual activity and unresolved emotional issues are all too commonplace.  Gay bars and the online community (such as gay.com and Manhunt) have not proven to be very good sources for making promising connections for friendship or romance.  Social and activity groups do exist in the Seattle area and I have met some friendly people… but even in those circles there is unhealthy behavior which goes on.

So where do I go to seek out connections which could increase the possibility of finding a life partner who is emotionally healthy?  That’s a good question.